my secret
by roxxychik06
Summary: I have a secret that can never get out. It would ruin me if anyone ever found out. This is what happened when someone found out my secret…and it was nothing that I ever expected. (Sensitive subject please read warning)
1. My secret

My secret

I have a secret that can never get out. It would ruin me if anyone ever found out. This is what happened when someone found out my secret…and it was nothing that I ever expected.

A/N Ok this is a heads up, this is my very first fan fic. I've been a big time reader for years but this is my first attempt at ever writing one. I had a few friends look this over and edit it as best as I could but please keep that in mind. This fic contains sensitive subject matter. I would love constructive criticism and comments but please to not flame. I don't really know if I'm going to write more fic, I might even continue this one but I have to get public opinion on this one first

Disclaimer: as much as I LOVE twilight it is not mine. All things twilight belongs to Stephanie Mayer's. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND: this is a MA fic with vary sensitive subject matter. If sex and mention of rape fantasy offend you please do not read. I know for many this is a very sensitive subject. But like most kinks when done in a safe and controlled way in can be very enjoyable. Neither I nor this story in anyway means to advocate the acceptance of actual rape or that real rape is anything but a crime.

~~*MS*~~

I have a secret. One I can never tell. A secret that if it ever got out, would ruin me.

My name is Bella Swan, 19 year old collage sophomore. I am very average, 5'5", brown eyes, brown hair, pale clear complexion. My dad's the chef of police in my home town and my mom is a kindergarten teacher. My best friends are twins, Edward and Alice Cullen. I get decent grades in school and I volunteer when I have the time. All in all I am exactly what everyone expects me to be, except for my secret.

To many people my secret may seem insensitive, uncaring, and heartless even; to other it's dangerous and destructive.

I want to be raped. Yes you heard me right, I want to be raped. Ok let me stop right there. I do not mean the real thing. I know that, that kind of thing can destroy a person. I mean fantasy rape, much more controlled, you know its coming even if you don't know when and where, and most importantly you know who.

But you still see why no one can ever know my secret. What kind of woman WANT'S to be taken by forced, but I do.

It stared years ago when James Hunter held my face to make me kiss him; I was 14 at the time. The lack of controlled thrilled me, and for the first time I was turned on. That was really all he did, but it was my first taste.

Now however my fantasy is confined to my computer. Between my favorite porn sites, and my favorite fan fiction authors, I am pretty good at satisfying myself. Of course I never save anything and I clear all history when I have the itch. I would die it anyone found out.

~~*MS*~~

"Hey Bella, can I borrow your computer" my best friend Edward asked.

Edward and his fraternal twin Alice have been my two best friends since they moved to forks when we were 8. I don't think I could have survived this long without them. I was a terribly shy child. But thanks to their forceful personality I have come out of my shell a lot. I know I'll never be the life of the party but at least of not afraid to open my mouth.

I'm not blind I know my best guy friend is fucking sex on legs. Just over 6 feet tall, broad shoulders, chiseled pecks and a face that could make angles cry. But before you get the wrong idea, we are just friends, that all….unfortunately.

Yea, I have a thing for him, unrequited love and all that bullshit. But that's never going to happen, so I try not to think about it too much…even if it kills me sometime.

"What" I say, looking up from my well-loved copy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

"Can I borrow your computer' he repeats holding up my laptop. "I still havent got mine fixed and I really don't want to spend the next, who know how many hours doing it at the library".

I shake my head and smile at him. "Sure go head just make sure to get it back to me in one piece" I reply playfully

He sticks out his tongue, turns and walks out my room and across the hall to his.

Yea we live together with Alice, as well as Jasper. Japer is Alice's boyfriend and Edwards other best friend. We all have our own rooms, even though we all now Alice only uses her as a closet. Edwards's parents own the property so none of us have to pay rent, which is a monumental help for a couple of struggling college kids.

I let out a sigh and go back to my book.

~~*MS**~~

It been over a week and Edward still has my computer. I don't want to bother him so I've just been going to the library. I love it in here anyway so it no problem for me.

I look at my watch and realize that Ms. Crawl, the librarian, will be closing up soon. I go ahead and pack my bag, and walk outside. I go to check my phone and realize its dead. Well so much for calling for a ride. Oh well it's not really a big deal. I don't live fare, the library is on the edge of campus and my house is only a mile or so down the road.

As I set out into the fresh fall air I can't help but feel like there is a pair of eyes on me. I stop and look around, but don't see anything. I shrug it off and keep going. In only a minute or so later that the feeling returns. I can't help but giggle at my own paranoia. I've been reading too much fan fiction lately I guess.

I decide to go ahead and cut down the alley way between the street I'm on and the street my house is on. I'm only about a block and half away and this short cut is quite a bit quicker.

I'm about half way down the alley when I hear the unmistakable crunch of a footstep. I let out a soft gasp and before I can even turn around I am pressed up against a wall. Two hands grab my wrist pinning them to the wall, a body presses into my back, so I am unable to move an inch.

"Don't scream, don't even make a sound and you won't get hurt. Got it?" a harsh voice whispers in my ear.

I shock myself by whimpering, and nod my head.

"Good. Now were going to have a little fun. You're going to do exactly what I say. No hesitation, arguing, no questions, no words at all. Do you understand" the voice continues quietly. Quiet enough to send a shiver down my body to my very core.

I nod again.

"You're a pretty little thing aren't you?" He moves both of my wrists to one hand and runs the other down my body slowly. I can feel him grind his hard on into my back.

Somewhere in my mind I know I should be fighting to get away, kicking, screaming, I don't know but something. But all I do is let out a low wonton moan.

"First things first. I want that cute little mouth of your wrapped around my aching cock. Do you feel how hard I already am, just thinking of hitting the back of your throat as you choke on my dick." He murmurs as he presses into my back.

He runs his hands under my shirt and I feel the snap of my bra as he pulls it from my body. His large soft hands move up my stomach to my hard nipples and he squeezes them hard. He takes the points in between his fingers and pinches to almost the point of pain. Instead of crying out in pain though I cry out in ecstasy. He's rough and merciless with my breast, squeezing, pulling and pinching until I'm almost ready to cum just from the stimulation. It takes everything in me not to scream, not in terror but in exaltation.

"Now get on your knees" his hand moving to my shoulder leaves little option but to comply. "And do not look up."

I stare at the concrete as he helps me turn around to face him. I see he is already straining in his paints. He is very excited.

"Now pull it out, and show me what those plump lips of yours can really do."

Shakily I raise my hands to lower his zipper. He's going commando so I see his thick, long, and incredibly hard dick instantly. I surprised at how much I want to taste it.

I pull his pants down around his ankles and wrap my hand around his shaft. I take a lick from the base to the head.

"Fuck" he mumbles "that's it my little slut. Lick me like I'm the best fucking lollipop you have ever had'

I slowly put the head in my mouth and start to move.

He gives me a moment to adjust to his larger size before he grabs the sides of my head roughly.

"Hold on to my thighs my little girl. This is not going to be easy or slow. This is for my pleasure not yours."

I grab his thighs and try to stable myself as he starts to pump fiercely into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat.

"That's it bitch. Take it. Take all of my dick. I want to hear you gag, to know I am the one who controls you." He growls "fuck yes. Suck it hard. There's a good girl."

I can almost hear him smirk

"You enjoy this don't you? I bet you've soaked right through those panties of yours right about now. You enjoy me fucking you're your face; you enjoy pleasing me, don't you. And you're doing such a good job."

I can't stifle the wonton moan that I release. He's right. I can feel my arousal actually running down my leg. Of all the days I pick to wear a skirt it had to be today.

"Tell me baby do you want me to do this to your pretty little pussy. Do you want it to be wrapped around my cock squeezing it like your throat is now? Do you want me to bend you over and take you against this wall? I think I will do just that" he says pulling out of my mouth and yanking me up.

I already know somehow that I'm supposed to look down and that's exactly what I do.

He turns me back around to face the wall. Bends me over slightly and places my hands right where he wants them

"But first before you get to feel my cock I'm going to see if you pretty pussy tastes as delicious and it smells"

He pulls my skirt up over my ass. He shocks me again by grabbing the back of my thong and pulling it hard so it's between my lips.

"God, you're turned on. Your little black thong is soaked. "He bends over and bites my ass, then licks the spot immediately.

He grabs the side of my panties and I hear a snap and feel a sting as he literally rips them from my body.

Once again I know I should be scared or at least angry. But I can't help the fresh flood of arousal as it drips down my now bare leg.

His finger glides through my folds as he lightly rubs my lips. He removes his finger far too quickly and I just know he tastes me.

"God damn" he snarls. "So fucking sweet. I'm going to fuck you with my tongue until I can drink you dry again."

Will that he drops down to the ground and spreads my legs further apart. With no other preamble he parts my lips with his thumbs and shoves his tongue deep inside me.

"Fuck" I can't help but shout, and am rewarded with a sharp quick sting to my ass. He slapped my ass, hard

"Be fucking quite I said. I'm trying to enjoy this fucking delicious meal in peace" he goes back to fucking me with his tongue, occasionally using the tip to flick my clit.

"So good. So fucking good." I hear myself whisper. Can't help but move my hips against his face.

I can already feel my walls tightening. Coiling inside of me ready to spring.

"That's it sweet girl, come for me. Come all over my face. Let me really taste you sweet essence." He goes back to fucking me with his tongue as his thumb rubs tight quick circles around my engorged nub.

I cry out softly as I release into his mouth. I can hear him noisily slurping up everything I give him as if it were a crime to waist even a drop.

"That was the best fucking meal I have ever had my sweet tasting little slut. Now. Now I will really fuck your tight little pussy. I want you to brace yourself on that wall. Wouldn't want you getting hurt and messing up our fun would we." He's back in my ear. I feel his cock right in the small of my back thrusting lightly.

He bends me over a little further making sure I'm stable before grabbing my hips and thrusting into me. Still sensitive from my last orgasm I feel myself immediately clamp down around him. He's so big, filling, stretching me; I have never felt so full before.

"Fuck you're so tight and hot. God you feel good. That's it suck down on my cock. Clamp down like you never want to let it go. Such a good little pussy, such a sweet little slut."

He pulls almost all the way out before slamming into me again. He starts up a hard fast unforgiving rhythm.

Once again the voice of reason in the back of my mind says that this is wrong. It isn't supposed to feel this good. I'm not supposed to be moaning and whimpering as he hits the amazing spot deep inside. But I can't help it.

This is every fantasy I could never talk about come true. This is what, normal or not, I have always wanted, and my body is responding to it.

"Fuck yes. Grind that perfect little ass back." He growls "I wonder has anyone ever had you here. Has anyone every claimed this perfect little ass"

I stiffen up as I feel his wet fingers slid up and down the crack of my ass

He grabs my hair and pulls back. Not terrible hard, but hard enough that I am forced to arch my back, bringing his lips once again right by my ear.

"I asked you a question. Has anyone ever claimed that perfect little ass of yours?" he snarls

"Nn-no" I whimper. Equal parts scared and aroused

"Good" he claims as he starts to push one finger into the tight little hole.

This is completely a first for me. No one, not even me has ever messed with my ass. And I am floored by how amazing it feels. This whole time his rhythm has never faltered even for a second. So with his cock pounding to my pussy and now is finger slowly moving in and out of my ass I am in sensory overload.

"That's it sweet thing grind that ass against my finger. You like that don't you. Do you want me to fuck you here? To cum deep in this perfect tight little virgin ass? Well that's exactly what I think I'll do. But first I have to prepare you a little"

He pulls his dick out of me and I can't help but sigh as the loss. However I forget about it quickly as he slowly starts to work a second finger in my backside. I can feel his saliva moising the area. He adds a third finger and starts to spread the hole wider.

"Fuck this is going to be a tight fit little girl. Don't worry ill make sure you feel good too"

With that he slowly starts to push his still very slick dick inside my ass. It's a little uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as I always feared. In a few seconds he is completely in and I start to relax a little

"That's it sweet girl just relax. See it's not so bad. Fuck you're so tight I'm not going to last very long like this" I think he's talking more to himself than to me at this point.

He starts to move inside of me, easy at first than steadily harder and faster. After a second I feel his arm reach around me and start to rub my clit in time with his thrusts

"Fuck I need you to come for me sweet girl. I need to feel you come one more time for me" he grabs my hair again and pulls it back, then bits down on my neck hard. I know it's going to leave a mark.

That's all it takes for me and this time I can't hold back my scream as my release rushes though me

"Holy fuck you're a squrter" he gasps.

I guess I am. That has never happened to me before

"I'm going to come in your cute little ass now. Are you ready? Fuck Bella I…" he can't even finish as he grips my hips with both hands thrusts two more times and spills into me. I continue to grind into him as he rides out he's climax.

I listen to his heavy breathing in my ear as he lays his head on my shoulder.

I wait a few more minutes before I speak.

"You ok, Edward" I finally ask quietly

He jumps at the sound of my voice and we both wince and he slips out of me. I give a second to pull up his pants as I turn about and look up into the greenest eyes I've ever known.

"When did you figure it out" he replies

"The moment you spoke. Edward we've been friends for more than a decade, how could I not recognize your voice right away. But how did you know. There is no way you didn't know this was what I've wanted for a long time.

"Your computer." He answered quickly. "I was look for a link I had accidentally closed and saw some of you history. Imagine my surprise when I realized sweet little bella swan had a thing for rape fantasy. I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you out for years. But whenever I get the courage to ask you I ways freeze up or choke. When I saw your history and realized your secret I thought maybe if I can't tell you how I feel about you I could show you. You know give you something you've always wanted but could never ask for."

"When we already know we can talk for hours or just sit in silence together. I know you never put your socks in the laundry basket but your bathroom stays in perfect conditions at all times. You know I hate when people drink out of the carton and I love small gestures over expensive platitudes. We know each other's likes dislikes hopes dreams and fears. And now after tonight I know that was the most amazing sex I've had in my life and I can't wait to do it again. So Edward Cullen will you go out with me" I finish and hold my breath waiting for his answer. I know it's silly but I'm still nerves.

"That was my line. But of course I would love to." He replays to me after a beat

After taking a minute to get ourselves ready we turn around and start back home together, holding hands. I can't believe the man of my dreams not only knows my darkest fantasy and does hate me for it, but has helped me make it come true. I can't help but wander as were walking, what is Edwards darkest fantasy and how would I go about giving it to him.

_  
A/N so that was my first fan fic. I've edited a little bit of it before I reposted on this profile because after all this time I really wasn't sure about the ending and I like this one a lot better. So leave me a comment and tell me what you think. Don't worry about being harsh I don't mind it. In fact I appreciate criticism as much as comments so don't hold back. I'm thinking about continuing this to at least a two shot if not more but I want to get yalls opinion so let me know. Is it good enough to continue?


	2. his secret

Disclaimer: Twilight and all things related to, are property of Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play with them.

Please note that this is a MA fic due to graphic scenes. If this is not your thing please back out now. And while not as sensitive a subject as chapter one, the contents of this chapter are still considered by many to be taboo, so please proceed with caution.

Also a HUGE thanks to my beta Hay hay who despite having 3 kids of her own has still managed to fine the time to edit all these stories I'm throwing at her. Thanks girl love ya. Now on with the show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~

It has been three months since Edward and I have started dating and it has been perfect. I mean Edward and I have never had a problem finding things to do together. We have always had a similar sense of humor and we both are up for anything. So I guess it's no surprise that our easy friendship transferred into quite a perfect relationship.

The only complaint I would have thus far is that Edward still won't tell me his darkest fantasy. I mean I know he has one, he's admitted that much. He seems to think that if he tells me I'll look at him differently or think less of him for some reason. Which is completely nuts, there is nothing he could tell me that would change things for me.

"So you going to tell me yet?" I ask as I sit down next to Edward on the couch.

He doesn't bother asking what I'm talking about. At this point, I've just taken to asking him randomly in hopes that he'll just give up and tell me. He knows how much I love him, we've already told each other as much, so I don't understand why he's so hesitant.

"Not right yet. I promise I'll tell you soon. It's just that this is a big deal for me. And may I once again remind you that you never actually told me your secret. I happened to find it on your computer. But what are you doing tonight? I want to take you somewhere special." he answers back without missing a beat.

I can't help but smile. He's really good at surprising me with little things like random special dates, a rose on my windshield that I find after class, a nice bubble bath after a really nasty day. Edward is absolutely perfect, at least for me.

"I don't have any plans tonight. Where are we going? How should I dress?" I ask with a smile.

"I don't think I'm going to tell you." He answers mischievously. "But wear something nice. That blue dress that you wore to my birthday dinner last year would be perfect. I still remember how badly I wanted to take you in my arms and kiss the hell out of you as soon as you walked into the room. The way the blue complemented your coloring, and the way those shoes made your legs look like they went on forever. I spent the whole night trying to hide my erection from everybody, I swore that night you were trying to kill me. You really are one of the most stunning women I have ever met."

With that, I practically jump onto his lap wrapping my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck and kiss the hell out of him. He responds immediately, putting one hand on my waist and grabbing a handful of hair with the other.

Out of all the aspects of our relationship that have turned out better than I could have ever imagined, this part has by far been the best. I mean, don't get me wrong, I knew Edward was no prude and I know what I'm doing when it comes to the bedroom, but still it is surprising sometimes how easily we went from platonic best friends into such a sexually charged relationship.

We make out on the couch like a couple of teenagers for a few minutes. Edward's hands move up and down my back underneath my shirt, but don't go further than that. That's something else I love about us, it's not all sex all the time. Sometimes it's just kissing and cuddling, just being together.

"Edward" I say after I catch my breath. "Why won't you tell me what your fantasy is? What could possibly be worse than what you did for me?"

"I'm just nervous. What I want is not as…dangerous as what you wanted, but it most definitely can be seen as taboo to most people." He said after a few minutes, "I'll tell you what, let's wait until tonight after our date. Then if you really want to know…..I'll tell you."

I couldn't help but get excited at the prospect of finally knowing exactly what his secret was. I know no matter what it is I want to give it to him. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him, especially after what he did for me.

I figured that since it was still a few hours before we had to get ready for our date we could still have a little fun right now. I slipped my hands back into his hair and brought his lips back to mine, and we continued where we left off.

After a few hours of making out I decided it was time to start getting ready. It took a few more minutes to get him to let me get up to go get ready. I really love the way he holds onto my hips like he's afraid to let me go.

When I finally get up, I go get into the shower and just relax for a few minutes under the hot spray. After I make sure there's no hair anywhere on my body, I wash my hair and then get out. I moisturize with my strawberry scented lotion, I then do my hair and makeup.

At 6 o'clock Edward knocks on my door to pick me up, like an old fashioned date. Like I said, it's the little things that make everything amazing with him.

When I open the door he just stares at me for a few minutes. Nobody has ever made me feel as beautiful as he does.

"You look breathtaking. And the best part is this time I don't have to just dream of kissing you." with that he wraps his arms around my waist and brings my body flush against his, leans over and gives me the kiss of a lifetime.

All too quickly he pulls away and just smiles a moment. After we both collect ourselves again he offers his arm and we leave.

He is so sweet, opening doors and resting his hand on the small of my back as I get into his car.

We only drive few minutes to reach the intended destination, which is apparently the new Italian restaurant I have been dying to try. Dinner is absolutely wonderful, as always, between the amazing mushroom ravioli and Edward just being himself, I have a great night. The only downside is once again our waitress hits on Edward, but as always he ignores her and pays complete attention to me.

After dinner we walk around downtown for a little while before heading home. Part of me is excited to have the talk, but a bigger part of me just loves the way this feels.

After we get in we relax for a little while. I pour us both a glass of wine and we just chat before I decide to bring up the topic again.

"So are you going to finally talk about what your darkest fantasy is? I promise I won't judge you. You know I love you more than anything in that world, I would never do anything to hurt you." I tell him.

"I know, I know." he breathes "Ok if you really want to know, I'll tell you. Just promise one thing, you won't look at me different after you find out."

"I promise." I answer immediately.

"Ok hold on" he gets up and walks into his room.

He comes back in with his laptop and hands it to me. I just look at him a little confused, wondering what exactly it is he wants me to do.

"Do what I did" he finally tells me.

It only takes me a few seconds to figure out what it was he was talking about and as soon as I figure it out I open the computer and go straight to the history. There are several porn sites in the file so I pick one at random.

He takes a deep breath as the screen loads up and waits to see what I'll do next. I try to read the description and the tags, but I still don't get it. I decide to hit play and just watch the video.

It only takes a few seconds for me to get wet as I watch the man and woman on the screen. After about ten minutes of watching the video I'm so horny I feel like my skin is so buzzed it's tingling. It is then that Edward stiffens next to me. I watch for some clue as to what has him so worried but other than the brunette giving the guy a blow job I don't see what the big deal is.

I decide to listen to the words to see if they will give me some context but it's just a bunch of moaning and groaning on the guy's part with the occasional gagging from her.

Then everything changes.

The woman gets off her knees and the guy goes to lie down on the bed. When she comes back I notice she has a bottle of lube in her hand and what looks like an instrument of some sort. I glance sideways at Edward wonder what the big deal is. He's used several toys on my pussy and ass and has never seemed to worry too much about it so why this.

But she shocks the shit out of me by going back to the original blow job. After another moment I notice her put some lube on her fingers then run them up and down the crack of the man's ass. She does this a few more times before adding more lube right at the hole then slowly slides her finger in.

It is then I realize what exactly his fantasy is and I will not lie the thought REALLY turns me on. Instead of saying anything just yet I continue to watch the screen, noticing that the bulge in Edwards's pants seems even more prominent than usual. I can tell just watching what's happening in the video has already gotten him really worked up.

The woman has stopped fingering the man's ass and has added lube to the little butt plug. She once again runs it up and down his crack before slowly inserting it in the tight hole. When it's all the way in she pushes a little button and there is a faint vibrating sound. At this point the man on the bed is barely hanging on. Judging by the swearing and the way his knuckles are white as he grips the sheet, he is really enjoying himself.

The woman leans back and grabs the guys cock, stroking him as he comes on her chest. After he finishes, he collapses back on the bed completely spent and obviously exhausted. The video ends and I shut the computer, putting it down by my feet.

I turn to look at Edward who looks torn between really horny and terrified of my reaction.

"Is that what you want?" I ask "For me to give you a blow job while using a vibrating butt plug on you? Is that what's got you so scared?"

"Well, basically yes." He says like I'm crazy "I mean it doesn't have to be a vibrating butt plug or a blow job, but something like that. I just want to know what it feels like. Don't get me wrong I'm not gay, I'm just curious."

"Edward do you realize how many nerve endings are in a guy's ass? You don't have to be gay to enjoy anal play. And if that what you really want I'll be happy to give it to you. Come on." I finish. I grab his hand and stand up.

Since I've only had the one glass of wine while Edward has drank almost the whole bottle, I opt to drive.

"Where are we going?" he asks as he buckles in his seat belt.

"Well if we're going to do this we need some things from the store. I don't think the butt plugs I have are a good idea to use for your first time. After all I didn't get them until we had been having anal sex for a while."

He turns red as I talk. It is one thing to want something that is considered taboo but it is quite another to talk about it so openly, but I want him to feel comfortable.

We pull into my favorite adult toy store a few minutes later.

"You wait right here while I go get what I need. Please just trust me?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything but just nods. I wonder if the nervousness of telling me and the possibility of finally getting what he wants are getting to him.

I walk inside and go straight up to the counter. I have a general idea of what I want but I figure I should get a little help to make sure I get the best. The guy at the counter smiles at me as I walk up, looking me up and down. I'm proud of myself for not rolling my eyes, _yes I'm a woman in a porn store, that doesn't mean I'm desperate or that you're going to get lucky buddy._

"Excuse me, can you help me?" I ask politely "I'm looking for something, but I'm not exactly sure which one I should get."

"Sure beautiful, what exactly are you looking for?" he asks me flirtingly.

I smile back.

"I'm looking for a butt plug to use on my boyfriend's ass." I reply as sweetly as I can.

He blinks a few seconds then kind of takes a step back.

"Ummm sure, the anal toys are this way." I follow him as he walks to the back. "Has he done ass play before or will this be a first time?"

"I don't think he's ever done anything like this before." I answer honestly.

He takes a thin, bumpy toy off the wall and hands it to me. It's only a little wider than my finger but it seems to have little bumps every few centimeters. I also notice it's slightly curved.

"This one's the best for beginners." he tells me. "It's small enough not to stretch too much and curved to pay attention to the prostate. It also has four vibrate settings which are controlled by a remote."

I thank him and tell him I'll take it. I also grab some more lube, just in case.

I finish my transaction quickly after that. I get into the car and hand the bag to Edward telling him not to look inside until we get home. I see him shift around in his seat and readjust himself. This is really turning him on and we haven't even done anything, yet.

We get home quickly and run into the house. We go straight to his room.

I decide that since this is his fantasy, tonight will be all about him. So I slowly run my hands up and down his chest dipping under his shirt and pulling it up as I go. He raises his arms so I can take it off.

I run my nails down his chest and stomach. I kiss and lick across his chest paying special attention to his nipples. He moans as I, gently, bite one nipple and then blow on it lightly. I give the other the same treatment before moving on.

I drop to my knees and run my hands up and down his jeans, I move up to his belt and unclasp it. I open his jeans and slowly drag them down. He toes off his shoes and I remove his socks and pants. I run my nose across the top of his boxers, before hooking my fingers into the band and dragging them down as well.

He moans again as I run my tongue down the apex of his thigh. He's already hard as steel. I take his silky smooth skin in my hand and stroke him a few times.

"Go lie down on the bed and I'll get your present." I tell him.

He does as I ask and I go get the bag. I bring the opened toy and lube over to the bed and lay a towel under him. He silently lifts up to help me, though he does raise an eyebrow.

"It's to keep things clean. I'm not completely sure, but I have a feeling things could get quite messy, all things considering." I answer his unasked question.

He just chuckles and nods. I've never seen Edward this nervous before, I ask him if he's sure and he assures me he is.

I take my cue from the video we watched and add lube to my middle finger, then run it up and down his crack. Just this sensation alone causes Edward to let out a long low moan of pleasure. I look directly in his eyes and I add more lube to his hole then slowly insert my finger. I can see he's fighting to keep his eyes open when all he wants to do is close them and feel.

"How does this feel?" I ask, needing him to talk to me.

"Better than I could have ever imagined. The feel of your hand on my cock as your finger moves in my ass is amazing. I feel so full." He answers.

"Do you want more?"

"God yes please."

I pull my finger out and then add lube to the plug. I take my time inserting it in his ass slowly, moving it in and out a little at a time, until it's completely in. I watch him tighten around the foreign intrusion before relaxing again.

"You ok?" I check

"Ok fuck yea." he answers honestly.

I smile at him and climb onto his stomach. His hands wrap around my hips and his dick tries to reach for my heat, but I make sure to stay just out of his reach.

"Nuh-uh" I tell him shaking my head "Not yet, I have one more surprise for you."

I move back until my pussy hovers just over the head of his cock, but doesn't quite make contact. I just pause for a moment, to build anticipation. After another heartbeat or two I take a breath and turn the vibrator on.

The effect is instantaneous. Edwards hips jump up, slamming his cock deep into me. We both scream at the sensation, which is almost too much for either of us.

I stay still as Edward moans and wiggles underneath me, feeling the sensation for the first time.

"Oh FUCK! Oh god, fuck that feels amazing. Fuck Bella, you are so amazing. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." he starts to chant. He still has a death grip on my hips and he is grinding his cock into my dripping pussy.

I give him a few seconds to relax slightly before I shift up his shaft then slam back down.

"FUCK!" be both scream at the same time.

"Fuck baby you have got to move. I don't know how long I can hold on like this, I need you to move so I can feel your pussy tighten around my cock as you come all over me. Please sweet girl. Fuck I can feel the vibration in my balls and all the way up my cock."

I loved it when Edward used his words. Much like the first time we had sex, his words heighten the experience to a whole new level.

"Fuck baby move faster. Yes just like that." he tells me as I start bouncing faster.

At this point I am so close I just need something to push me over the edge. That's when Edward moves his thumb to my clit and starts to rub in tight little circles. Between his obvious enjoyment, the feel of him moving inside me and his ministration on my clit, it doesn't take me very long to fall over the edge, screaming.

Apparently the feeling of my pussy tightening around his hard cock is too much. Edward jerks a few more times before spilling into me. The sounds he makes as he comes are almost animalistic, fierce and primal.

After what feels like forever, he collapses back onto the bed. I've never felt him come that hard before and our cum is already leaking out of me.

"No more please. Turn it off, the sensation is too much." he continues to move under me as I turn the vibrator off but do not yet remove the plug.

"Fuck Bella, that was the most amazing experience of my life. Thank you my love, for not only understanding, but giving me this wholeheartedly. I love you more than words can ever express." despite his reverent declaration he is still trying to catch his breath.

Even with all that, I can still feel him twitch inside of me sporadically. I shift my hips slightly and I guess the movement causes the plug to move, because Edward once again lets out an almost painful sounding noise.

"Shit baby, I'm sorry." I get off of him and go to remove the toy. I make sure to take it out slowly so I don't hurt him.

I leave him on the bed and take the plug to the bathroom where a wash it off and leave it on a new towel to dry. I then take a damp washcloth back into the bedroom and clean him up. Edward still seems to barely be able to move other than to shifting his hips up slightly so I can remove the towel under his ass.

After I clean myself up as well, I come and get into bed with him.

Much like the night when Edward gave me my rape fantasy I know that it's important to talk about what we did. I don't want him to feel weird in any way and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind doing it again in the near future, as long as he enjoyed it.

After a few hours of talking about tonight we both agree that it is something we would like to do again sometime. We fall asleep as we do every night, wrapped tightly in each other's embraces. I can't help the stray thought that passes through my head right before I fall asleep.

 _I wonder what other fantasies we could come up with in the future._

_

So there is Edward's secret. What do you think? Is it what you expected? Was it better or worse than you imagined? Let me know your thoughts. While at this time I do not have plans to continue this fic, I won't say never. I'm currently finishing up the first chapter of a new story as well and working on the idea for a third. I hope to have the first out by the middle of next week and the second out by next Friday, that at least is my goal. So please keep an eye out for both soon. Thank you for taking the time to read and especially those who leave a review, your words are most appreciated.


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